is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
