Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
