Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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