road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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