How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
