he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
