so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
