mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
