All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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