Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Vodka?
Forever.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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