wrigley field is MILF paradise
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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