never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
