your parents love me but you hate me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
