Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Farmville is her only friend.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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