We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
