everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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