Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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