hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Is it penis luge time yet?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
soo... how was my night?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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