And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize