i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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