No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
