plz talk dirty to me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize