he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
