Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
