We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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