hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
