So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So vagazzling was a success
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
