Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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