all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
