Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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