her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
