Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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