what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
