someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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