I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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