It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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