ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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