He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
