Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
