He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
