i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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