if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
