dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So much Jack, so little girl.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
