There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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