Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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