So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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