doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
