ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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