their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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