How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
