I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
