..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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