He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
