I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
