Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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