Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
