Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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