Where is the hickey?
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
