watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
